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Love, Sex and Relationship Advice > 7 year itch

I am a 40 year old divorcee. I dated a 46 year old divorced man from Sept 2009- July 2010. I'll call him Sam. We had the most incredible chemistry. He has full custody of three beautiful teenagers. Only problem was when we tried to spend time alone his ex wife would swallow a handful of pills with a bottle of vodka and the kids would find her naked on the floor...ect. She is a nurse and new full well what she was taking would not kill her but it was her way of controlling him and it worked. (Crazy thing is she wanted the divorce and they had been divorced for over a year). Sam and I tried to see each other secretly but it just became too much for us to bare...not wanting to hurt his children if the x wife ever found out. He said I was the perfect woman in every way and he wished he could put me on a shelf and save me for the future. He insisted I move on, that it could be years ( As many as 7 years when his youngest goes off to college) before he would date anyone again. He suggested we should date other people anyway...that we needed to experience other people since neither of us had dated anyone else since our divorces. Because of his suggestion I thought maybe I just wasn't the right girl. I asked him more then once to just admit I wasn't the right girl and he said he couldn't. I thought if he just doesn't want me...I could move on. I am a very attractive woman inside and out and there are men around me that would be thrilled to have me. I knew that if he was really crazy for me he would find a way, over time (when the wife settled down), to find me again. I also realize it is very likely he will find someone else when he finally does start dating...Too much past drama. That being said, i've tried to move on. In fact I've been dating a wonderful man for about a year. I'll call him Frank. If you where to write a list of all Frank's great qualities you would think i'm crazy for not falling head over heels for him. I just don't have the same feelings for him I do Sam. Even a year and a half later...I can't seem to let go of Sam. To make matters worse Sam and I share a lot of the same friends and frequent some of the same restaurants/lounges...So i see him from time to time and I find it hard to breath when he's in the room... Like a schoolgirl:) Sam also occasionally calls on me to take care of his friends when they need real estate (i'm a realtor) which is funny because he has many realtor friends...He certainly does not need to refer business to me. In fact last week he asked me to find a property for the company he owns. When it came time to look at the three I narrowed it down to he asked his CFO to accompany us? Like he doesn't want to be alone with me. Trust me, I am not a sad case...I never contact him outside of business so he would have no reason to fear being alone with me. The only time I have suggested getting together has been the three times in the last few months he has suggested getting together to catch up...Then he always finds a reason to "reschedule". I then make one attempt to reschedule and it never happens...I feel like a lost puppy...I can still hear his voice in my ear and think about the way he laughs...I miss him so much at times it brings tears to my eyes...It's so hard to move on thinking we might find each other again. But who would wait 7 years for a maybe??

December 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterv