The Complete Idiots Guide To Dating
Now in its NEW 3rd EDITION! That's how timely the advice about finding the love you want is, in this book!
If you’re looking for love, you’ll surely find it, with guidance of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dating—3rd edition.
Of course you’re no idiot, but everyone can use some help, and great help is what you get in the wise and warm advice of Dr. Judy Kuriansky, licensed clinical psychologist and famous host of the long-running radio call-in advice show LovePhones, who has helped millions of men and women of all ages around the country.
This new edition The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dating—3rd editionis right up to the minute, covering the latest places to go to meet someone, how to log on for love connections in cyberspace, and then how to make the first encounter so successful, you’re bound to go on for more—or what to notice to bow out fast! As you read on, you’ll get so many helpful hints about what to do to find fulfillment in dating, and exercises to find out who’s the perfect mate for you, green or red lights about whether to pursue it, and tips you can put into practice right away to get what you want in dating—and life!
All you need is in these pages.
This book is for everyone looking for love -- whatever your age, background, dating history, or sexual preferences or intentions.
Now you have an excellent, thorough, and useful guide to dating at every stage -- from meeting and starting a relationship to making a commitment. You’ll know how to make a date work out, and even what to do if it doesn’t. You’ll get so many helpful hints about things you can do right away to up your chances of finding fulfillment in dating; exercises that are fun for you and a date to do; and important facts you need to know.
• Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
• Does chemistry exist?
• Is it possible to meet an honest person on an internet dating site?
• Can friends be lovers?
• When’s the right time to have sex after dating?
Get answers to all these questions and more! This book is unique, and different from other dating guides, as you will see. For one, it’s an entire encyclopedia of what you need to know!
Here’s a sample of what you’ll get in the chapters:
Part 1: A New View on Where to Go and Who’s the One:
Chapter 1: How dating can be exciting! Never mind about nay-sayers who say there’s no good ones out there. You can find love, and here’s how. Learn the two basic rules of dating. See dating as an art. How to make the best dating deal!
Chapter 2: Unraveling the Mystery of Attraction. Creating ‘real’ chemistry in attraction. Figure out who’s right—and wrong—for you. How love antennae rules and how to attract the right dates. Expanding your ‘love criteria’ to increase the odds of finding a match.
Chapter 3: Expanding Your Options: The Latest Trend of Diversity Dating. Modern matches that cast a wider net in choosing a mate, and what to do to bridge the gap when your cultures collide.
Chapter 4: Get Going: Good Ideas on Where to Meet People. Where are the best places to go? Find out new ideas that will intrigue and surprise you about how to improve your chances of running into that special someone.
Chapter 5: Services to Help Your Search and Make a Match. From personal ads to cyberdating -- there are endless ways to find a date -- and some new ones! Learn all about present low-tech and high-tech options.
Chapter 6: Ineedadate.com. Learn the “ins” and “outs” of meeting in cyberspace and turning your cyber-interest into a real-life date
Part 2: Preparing Yourself so You -- and Others -- Love You
Chapter 7: Putting the BestYouForward. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you look confident and fun to be with --oozing self-esteem? These excellent ego-boosters will make you want to spend an evening with yourself -- and others will want you, too!
Chapter 8: From Shy to Social Butterfly Shyness can be charming, or get in your way when you want to be more “out there.” Follow these tried-and-true tips to breaking out of your shell to show more of the wonderful you.
Part 3: Making the Approach Work
Chapter 9: Breaking the Ice: Openers to Get the Gab Going. So, you tracked down someone desirable -- but how do you keep him or her from slipping away? Here’s how to break the ice, make a good first impression, and use opening lines to open the door to an exciting connection.
Chapter10: Come Here Often? The Art of Flirting. The six rules of flirting, and how to use your voice and body language to show you’re interested and read others’ reactions. How to do the flirting flamenco. A 12-step plan to overcome flirter’s block.
Chapter 11: Scoring the Date. Increase your success with the rule of 3 Yes’s! How to ask and how to close the deal.
Chapter 12: The First Date (Making Sure It’s Not the Last). From where to go to what to say -- all the dating do’s and don’ts you’ll ever need to guarantee that all goes well now, and for the next encounters. Psyching yourself up and following dating do’s and don’ts. Turn-ons and turn-offs. To kiss or not to kiss. Touchy and taboo topics.
Chapter 13: The Second Date and Beyond. Where to go on date 2 and follow the red or green lights about the go- ahead or putting on the brakes.
Chapter 14: Money Matters. Dating costs money (besides energy and commitment!) and with tough financial times and changing roles these days, here are guidelines on how to talk about money and decide who pays for what, when. 12 tips on how to marry a millionaire — or feel like one
Part 4: Is This “It” or Keep Looking?
Chapter 15: Are You on the Same Wavelength? Quizzes to test your personality style, and that of your dates, to see if you’re a good match, or to learn what you have to do to get more on the same wavelength.
Chapter 16: “Can We Talk?” Talking is key to a good relationship. Here’s how to understand and to accept other people’s communication styles, especially if they differ. Secrets you should tell and not tell.
Chapter 17: Men and Women: Not Such Different Planets. Here’s a novel idea: Men and women are not totally on separate planets! Debunking stereotypes and bridging the gender gap.
Chapter 18: Dating Disasters and Dilemmas. He doesn’t call. She’s cheating on you. You’ve got secrets, or you’re in long-distance love. What to do? How to avoid feeling foolish, used, or worse yet, abused. How to avoid bad apples, and deal with dating disasters and dilemmas.
Chapter 19: What’s Up with This Person? There are many types of people in this world! Here’s how to understand their behavior, and to be on the outlook for personality types that could present quite a challenge.
Chapter 20: Dating Time-Out: Taking a Needed Break. When it’s time to take a break. Here’s how to give yourself permission, what to do during your break, and how to throw your hat back in the ring.
Part 5: Start the Fires Burning
Chapter 21: What Is This Thing Called Love? Is it true love or just lust? Can love at first sight last? Know the stages of true love and test whether this is really it. When to say those three magic words, I love you.
Chapter 22: Cold Feet and How to Warm Them Up. It’s not just men with infamous “cold feet,” but women, too. Learn how to recognize commitment-phobes and if you are one, how to turns fears into openness, intimacy, and commitment.
Chapter 23: Relationship Ruiners: Fighting and Jealousy. Arguments and jealousy can sabotage any relationship. Assess your anger style and follow the 8 steps to stopping arguments and stop battles over control. Rate your jealousy meter and how to slay that green-eyed monster.
Chapter 24: When Love and Sex Become Bedfellows. Clarify your intentions and expectations about sex, learn how to say “yes” or “no” clearly, and follow “10 commandments” to guide both of you toward making wise choices. The sex/love split and how to fix it! How to turn a friend into a lover.
:Part 6: Throwing Your Hat Back in the Ring
Chapter 25: Handling Rejections: When to Hold or Fold. If you get “no,” how to let go and get on with life with the least amount of pain. How to read excuses. The nine phases of dealing with rejection. The do’s and don’ts of dumping. Read the warning signs and know when, where, and how to end it, and learn 18 tips for letting go.
Chapter 26: Getting Back in the Saddle. You’re entitled to love again. Learn how to rebuild confidence and get back in the dating scene after divorce, what to do about the kids, and how to stay in the game no matter how old you are!
Do many fun and helpful exercises in this book, to boost your self esteem and to learn to pick winners. For example:
• Write a profile online to draw your cyber mate
• Do the body talk exercise
• Steps in overcoming shyness and love panic
• How to break the ice and warm up hearts
• How to do the flirting flamenco
• Identify overlapping interests
• Walk a mile in his/her shoes
• Test your love style
• Size up your compatibility
Don’t play games — like other books advise you to do! Real love comes from being appreciated for who you are -- not who you pretend to be. Consider dating as meeting kindred souls, teaching and supporting each other in life’s journey. Like a popular saying, Show up, pay attention, tell the truth, and don’t be attached to the outcome. Trust and value yourself, with few demands or expectations on others, to bring you truer love.
How to Use This Book:
Treat this book as a good friend who supports you at any time and in many situations, who calms you down and peps you up. Many people have said how helpful it has been to them.
Keep it by your bedside to read before you go to bed. Discuss what you’ve read in various chapters with your friends.
Refer to a relevant chapter before a date. Read sections and do the quizzeswitha date, using it as a great conversation opener, and way to learn about each other in a non-threatening way. You can say, “I was reading Dr. Judy’s book, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Datingand she said . . . What do you think?” This can break the ice to discuss what you are each looking for in love.
There are more than 80 million singles in America -- that’s a lot of people to reassure you that you are not alone, and that there are a lot of possible mates for you!
Here’s Dr. Judy’s Philosophy of Life:
“It is my intention that as you read this book, you gain trust that you can have what you want and need in life. You are in control - by your thoughts and actions. One of my favorite phrases is: Whatever you believe and conceive, you can achieve. A fundamental message in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dating Third Edition is that the key to success is to be happy withyourself. Happiness is not just the fulfillment of needs; it’s how you choose to think and feel every second. Love yourself and others will be drawn to you!”