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Saturday
Jun112011

Sex scandalized Congressman Weiner goes into therapy: will it work?

Congressman Weiner was forced to go into therapy as “damage control” given the timing of colleagues calling for his stepping down from office he insisted he would not leave.  He had no choice. 

But he really needs treatment.  While he hasn't said what that rehab will be, it undoubtedly will address his sexual behavior.

Like similar bad boys caught in reviling sex scandals -- Arnold, Tiger Woods, Spitzer -- going to rehab for a short time for “sex addiction” is just a band aid, giving in to public pressure demanding some responsibility and response, garnering sympathy.  In reality, the problems underlying these lewd and inappropriate acts are deep and require much more intensive therapy.

  •  Therapy should address multiple levels: 

Therapy for Weiner himself: (1) Sexual problems and sex addiction evidenced in his inability to control sexting to multiple women who are strangers and the latest scandal about one of these women being 17 years old; (2) deeper psychological problems, evidenced in his personality traits of narcissism and arrogance; exhibitionism, (exposing his naked body parts and bringing attention to his genitalia); poor judgment and low self-esteem underlying his arrogance; character flaws (evidenced in sexting on his personal couch with cats and family photos behind him); chronic infidelity and inability to maintain healthy intimacy in his relationship (reaching out to women on ‘lower’ levels than his Alpha female wife). To become a better father (as his statement said), he needs to explore his fears of fatherhood and “growing up” since his teenage-like behavior reveals immaturity (evidenced in his sexting to a teen who was a fan following him on twiiter and in using an adolescent and derogatory word for female private parts when referring to his cats). All this will require exploring the patterns while he was growing up and his relationship with his own father.

Therapy for Huma: She needs to address a likely conflict in her roles as a wife (marrying a man even after he told her about his cybersex behavior, as he admitted) distinct from her career role as an Alpha woman (Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s right hand aide). This can involve soul-searching about how she could be so close to Hillary and repeat Clinton’s own marital trials (given that Clinton has referred to her as her second daughter). Therapy should explore influences on her choice of partner including her cultural background and family dynamics, for example, her father died when she was a teen, and had established an interfaith institute (which coincides with her interfaith marriage).    

Marriage counseling and sex therapy for Weiner and his wife. Huma needs to express her anger towards her husband for this scandal in their marriage and also for tainting her reputation and career, as well as her fears about motherhood and their future.  He needs to make new promises to her and new commitments.  They need to explore what was missing in their intimate life that allowed his behavior to go on, unchecked. Then they need to make new agreements and set up monitoring to insure commitment.

  • Prognosis for therapy:  Short-term therapy – the typical 30 day rehab center treatment -- will not work.  As his problems are deep, his urges will not easily be erased, and may only intensify now that Huma is pregnant. He will be forced to control his behavior under such intense scrutiny, but once the limelight goes off him, he will be tortured by his impulses and needs.  Also, his Madonna-Prostitute syndrome will intensify as her pregnancy advances.  This means the man splits women into the pure mother figure (Madonna mother of Christ) whom he cannot defile with his wild sex fantasies and instead acts them out in affairs with sexpot women with whom he does not have any responsibility or commitment. To address all thses issues and to insure his fidelity, he needs longer-term treatment and they need couples therapy throughout her pregnancy and when the baby is born.

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Reader Comments (4)

Chuck Colson, BreakPoint, Thursday, June 16, 2011
....I suppose if any good is to come from the Weiner episode, it may be that people can see where the me-centered, post-modern worldview leads us: To narcissism and to the therapist’s couch.
Here are two worldview lessons for us.
First: The cure for narcissism is stepping away from the mirror and looking at someone else -- especially at Him who is the true desire of us all.
Second: Taking a pill or undergoing therapy will be no substitutes for forgiveness. The good news is that forgiveness is only repentance and a prayer away.
http://www.crosswalk.com/news/breakpoint-with-chuck-colson/narcissism-therapy-and-us-what-weiner-revealed.html
....Jesus paid the price for your sin and mine by giving His life on a cross at a place called Calvary, just outside of the city walls of Jerusalem in ancient Israel. God brought Jesus back from the dead. He provided the way for you to have a personal relationship with Him through Jesus. When we realize how deeply our sin grieves the heart of God and how desperately we need a Savior, we are ready to receive God's offer of salvation. To admit we are sinners means turning away from our sin and selfishness and turning to follow Jesus. The Bible word for this is "repentance" - to change our thinking about how grievous sin is, so our thinking is in line with God's....
http://www.sbc.net/knowjesus/theplan.asp
Romans 1:16; (9:24) ...The gospel of Christ...is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek (Gentiles).
1 John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 2:1 ....And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: 2 And he is the propitiation for our sins....
[KJV]

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