Actor David Arquette told shock jock Howard Stern that he hadn’t had sex with his wife Courtney Cox in four months, and that the act, when it happened, was “loving” but “methodical.” Which means boring.

Arquette’s admission is a common story that can help other people with sex problems in their marriage to know they are not alone in their boredom after ten years, no sex for months at a time, sinking into routine, seeking sexual excitement elsewhere.

How wonderful that their sex is loving -- that’s more than a lot of other couples have. Now they just needed to do with each other whatever he did in his affair.  

A wake-up call for couples to keep their excitement alive.

Tonight, on Issues hosted by Jane Velez Mitchell, the panel debated whether Arquette was wrong to talk about his sex life publicly.  He did issue an apology.  A saving grace: news reported that he had advised her beforehand, and she said go ahead.

Kim Serafin, an editor for In Touch magazine (also previously a press officer for Rudy Giuliani, so we shared many stories of the great group in that administration) said David shared TMI (too much information).

Arquette admitted that he had an affair (though said it was when they were separated and agreed to other liaisons) but he also claimed his wife is having an emotional affair with a co-star on her “Cougar” TV show.  Emotional affairs stop short of sexual contact but can be even more intense and intimate.

One of the most significant issues, in my psychological view, is that he admitted that she was tired of mothering him.  As a couples counselor and sex therapist, I know that women can easily be turned off sexually if their husband is like another child.  Besides, it triggers “incest” fears deep down. Always psychologically astute host Jane Mitchell put it well: the guy is acting like a teenager and has to grow up!  I agreed, it’s another case of arrested development.